For the last two months, I've been coming to the hospital more times than I can remember in my 25 years of living. I never like coming to hospitals much less working in one. Looking at all the sick people makes me sad and it constantly makes me realize that life is cruel and short.

I stood there. Looking at her trying to make sense why she is laying there while my dad stood opposite me trying to explain to me her conditions. The words that came out from my dad's mouth doesn't seems to nail right in my head, they seems to be flooding right around me. I was told to say a prayer or two but truthfully, I didn't believe that it will do any good.

I can't cry anymore because all my tears are dried out. I have been distancing myself from everyone of my peers because all I need now is to be next to her, holding her hand and thank her for all the wonderful things she has done for me since I was really young and apologies for being an ungrateful person for not coming to visit her.

As I stood there like a lifeless doll, I secretly wish I could just turn off my emotions like Elina in Vampire Diaries. All this mixed feelings inside of me is confusing me and it hurts so much that I'm not sure what is real anymore.

Seeing all my relatives around makes me realize that at this very situation, no one will ever be there for her except for us. I was so glad that my aunt from UK and my other uncle working overseas manage to come down and spend some time with her. I am glad all my relatives are here together because it has been such a long time since we spent time.

Having them here together, brings back old memories where we would spend time together, going on holidays, bbq etc. . But that was in the 90s. We barely had gatherings except the once a month sunday karaoke and makan gathering at my relative place.

Anyway, I am hoping for the best and that she will get well soon.

For the last two months, I've been coming to the hospital more times than I can remember in my 25 years of living. I never like coming to hospitals much less working in one. Looking at all the sick people makes me sad and it constantly makes me realize that life is cruel and short.

I stood there. Looking at her trying to make sense why she is laying there while my dad stood opposite me trying to explain to me her conditions. The words that came out from my dad's mouth doesn't seems to nail right in my head, they seems to be flooding right around me. I was told to say a prayer or two but truthfully, I didn't believe that it will do any good.

I can't cry anymore because all my tears are dried out. I have been distancing myself from everyone of my peers because all I need now is to be next to her, holding her hand and thank her for all the wonderful things she has done for me since I was really young and apologies for being an ungrateful person for not coming to visit her.

As I stood there like a lifeless doll, I secretly wish I could just turn off my emotions like Elina in Vampire Diaries. All this mixed feelings inside of me is confusing me and it hurts so much that I'm not sure what is real anymore.

Seeing all my relatives around makes me realize that at this very situation, no one will ever be there for her except for us. I was so glad that my aunt from UK and my other uncle working overseas manage to come down and spend some time with her. I am glad all my relatives are here together because it has been such a long time since we spent time.

Having them here together, brings back old memories where we would spend time together, going on holidays, bbq etc. . But that was in the 90s. We barely had gatherings except the once a month sunday karaoke and makan gathering at my relative place.

Anyway, I am hoping for the best and that she will get well soon.