Today is my grandma's 40th day anniversary and today also happen to be my mom's birthday. Even though I may not understand how she may feel right now, but I know I miss her just as much as my mom misses her.

My grandma. She looked after me for couple of years before I enter school til my aunt took over. I remember visiting her every week with my parents when I was younger and as the years goes by, visiting her seems to be lessen. Every now and then, whenever I took leave for appointments, I tried my best to visit her. I know that no matter how many times I visit her, it will never be enough to thank her how much she look after me when I was the little girl who always run around, climbing around like tarzan.

I have always enjoy visiting my grandma. Though I was never much of a talker, I am always looking forward hearing her stories and of coz the food she cook. If I could be frank, I enjoy her food more than I enjoy my mom's cooking.

Holiday trip with her, sleepovers etc are now just memories. Though I couldn't remember much, only photos can be the reminder of the times I spend with her.

I was suppose to send photos to my aunt to UK that we took during the visit to the hospital, I just couldn't bring myself to send the photos and the reminder of my grandma suffering on the hospital bed for months was just too painful. I'm sorry aunt.

An advise to those whose grandma are still alive. Spend every tiny bit of time with them or regret will build up and by then it will be too late to regret no matter whether they look after you or not.

It's 2 am in the morning and I am yet wide awake. After a month of holiday, I did absolutely nothing except stayed in my room and feel miserable and watch drama after drama hoping to feel something other than miserable. I just hope I can be wide awake during work later in the afternoon to entertain the kids.

I miss you Nenek. I wish you could see my short hair. I cut it off because you told me I look pretty in short hair.

To Azizun: I would like to apologies for not telling you about my grandma. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I know I should tell you as you were my only friend that I bought back to visit my grandma. I am really really sorry.

To friends: I am sorry for not telling you as I don't wish to cry and explain.

Today is my grandma's 40th day anniversary and today also happen to be my mom's birthday. Even though I may not understand how she may feel right now, but I know I miss her just as much as my mom misses her.

My grandma. She looked after me for couple of years before I enter school til my aunt took over. I remember visiting her every week with my parents when I was younger and as the years goes by, visiting her seems to be lessen. Every now and then, whenever I took leave for appointments, I tried my best to visit her. I know that no matter how many times I visit her, it will never be enough to thank her how much she look after me when I was the little girl who always run around, climbing around like tarzan.

I have always enjoy visiting my grandma. Though I was never much of a talker, I am always looking forward hearing her stories and of coz the food she cook. If I could be frank, I enjoy her food more than I enjoy my mom's cooking.

Holiday trip with her, sleepovers etc are now just memories. Though I couldn't remember much, only photos can be the reminder of the times I spend with her.

I was suppose to send photos to my aunt to UK that we took during the visit to the hospital, I just couldn't bring myself to send the photos and the reminder of my grandma suffering on the hospital bed for months was just too painful. I'm sorry aunt.

An advise to those whose grandma are still alive. Spend every tiny bit of time with them or regret will build up and by then it will be too late to regret no matter whether they look after you or not.

It's 2 am in the morning and I am yet wide awake. After a month of holiday, I did absolutely nothing except stayed in my room and feel miserable and watch drama after drama hoping to feel something other than miserable. I just hope I can be wide awake during work later in the afternoon to entertain the kids.

I miss you Nenek. I wish you could see my short hair. I cut it off because you told me I look pretty in short hair.

To Azizun: I would like to apologies for not telling you about my grandma. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I know I should tell you as you were my only friend that I bought back to visit my grandma. I am really really sorry.

To friends: I am sorry for not telling you as I don't wish to cry and explain.