Wednesday, May 25, 20114:28 PM
over the past few years, i have lost numerous of friends whom i thought they were my true friends who would always be there for me when i needed them. i know i should be getting used to it by now, but this time, i'm not. what makes this time anything different? she is special. not that kind of special that i am a lesbian. trust me. i'm not. i am not criminating or anything. you should be proud of who you are and by changing yourself, is like telling god that you don't like what you are that have been created by him.
this particular friend of mine, she has always, always been there for me. though we have only known each other for a year, there is just something about her that i feel comfortable with. she text me every single day over random things and asked me how my day was or whether anything was on my mind.
i was in store doing some charts. old partners came by to see me and we chatted for a bit before having to leave them to continue with my charts. i was sitting inside when i heard some movements in the storeroom and there she was, sitting inside alone, crying. i sat beside her, trying to cheer her up but i ended up crying beside her. i don't open up much to anyone but i did to her even though i barely know her. and since then, we were un separable up til now.
as a year goes on by, she got promoted, we work on different shifts, i started to worry that everything will change. we made plans that we have to meet up at least once a month for girls day out ( better than nothing, right? ) the minute she had some problems at work i would be the first she would called. and i told myself that i was just paranoid.
months went on by, and new partners started coming in. and it changes everything. the next minute, she isn't talking to me. and the next minute, someone so cruel would do something that would break me and Julep ( someone i am close with ) up.
no matter how much i have help her by convincing mj to take her back in, by helping her to get back her shift when she decided not to take mc, by closing one eye when she came in slamming stuff just because was having a bad day or when she was at the back texting away when we were busy serving customer, by staying calm when she tells me how unprofessional and bias i was just because i didn't give her the shifts she wanted. i was trying my best. i was trying my best to satisfied everyone and i failed miserably. i am not robot and apparently she can't see that. as much as i would like to tell her to her face that she deserves the words that mj told her, i see no point. unlikely that she would accept it nor would she will ever change.
so anyway, each time when we are handing over to each other, the only thing we would say each other would be just be 'hi' 'bye' 'was it busy?' or if im lucky, she would tell me about the annoying customers she faced in the morning or the previous day.
life is full of disappointment. i gotta learn to get used to it.
Labels: memories
