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when nothing else matters
Wednesday, March 17, 20109:33 PM

i woke up this morning at 8 feeling tired and weak. my fever isnt cooling down, my sore throat is getting worst, my nose is driving me crazy and my voice is nowhere to be found. i feel horrible and i look horrible.

i need to get well now. i have class at support centre and i cant missed it or i wont be able to run solo shift.

mj has been nice to me. i came to work and he sat down with me telling me that health is the most important thing in life and that if i dont eat, i would evaborate as i am small as i am right now and not eating would make me smaller. he has been nagging at me to eat. each time he buys himself food, he tends to slipt it to half so i wont have an empty stomach. i would end up eating less the portion of the food mj gave me as i tend to vomit everything out.


but what is the point of eating when all i need to keep me alive is syawai.

van has been checking up on me whether i am ok. as much as i would want to open up to her, to tell her how i feel, what i have been going through, but i see no point. i wont want her to worry about me when she has lots to worry about. but its nice to have a friend like her to make sure i am doing ok.

having to come to work closing yesterday was something i hate since i have been working morning for the straight two weeks. i am soo used to working morning that i feel extremely lazy.




it is easy to say 'letting go is the best'
but what about what i feel inside?
have you ever fallen in love?
like really fallen in love with someone?
you would do anything for that someone?
would you buy him medication when he is not feeling well?
would you buy him food when he is hungry?
would you pay 'things' for him when he doesn have enough cash?
would you wait for him til he finish work even though you and him dont live together?
would you give him a wake up call each morning without being asked?
would you call or text him everyday to see what he has been up to?


but one thing for sure i am not giving up.

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